World's 353rd oldest man dies

MANILA, Philippines -- The 353rd oldest man in the world died Saturday, making way for the 354th oldest man in the world to move up the ranks.

Felipe Quinones, 102, who was not quite old enough to be considered the 352nd oldest man in the world, nor young enough to hold the coveted title as 666th oldest, died peacefully of natural causes. He spent much of his life as a gardener and wedding singer.

This is the 129 millionth time in human history that the 353rd oldest man in the world has died, striking a chord among fellow old people aiming to reach number one. Quinones was the oldest man in the world, without counting the 352 men older than him.

"He was really a great man," said Ogonkwo Ndebe, 98, the 4,892nd oldest man in the world and a lifelong friend of Quinones to whom the deceased left 30 cases of Viagra in his will. Ndebe said he was "overly ecstatic" to move up to No. 4,891 on the list, so much so that he had to recalibrate his pacemaker.

Quinones is survived by his wife Corazon, who at 101 is the 435th oldest woman in the world; 13 children and 96 grandchildren; and 14 great grandchildren. Quinones's father was the first man of Philippine descent to break the 500 oldest list and was showered with gifts, only to receive fatal food poisoning from a birthday candle he mistook for candy.