WASHINGTON - Recently confirmed U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said Friday he will repay back taxes he has owed to the U.S. government in the form of Chuck E Cheese tokens and tickets.
Geithner said his amassed token collection - sufficient to purchase 3,000 glow-in-the-dark slap bracelets and 500 rubber balls - should cover his $43,000 in taxes owed to the U.S. government. He will also deliver 17 extra-large Hawaiian and pepperoni pizzas and three pitchers of Coke Zero to the U.S Treasury as additional collateral for his debt.
"I sincerely apologize for this oversight, but I will have you know that my kids are laboring day and night to get enough tickets to pay off this debt," Geithner said at his Senate confirmation hearing last week.
Geithner said he won the plethora of tokens and tickets after an "exceptional day" of SkeeBall and Wack-a-mole. Spokesmen for the Obama Administration declined to comment on the situation.
Meanwhile, thousands of tax-law-abiding American workers lost their jobs.
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, November 10, 2008
BREAKING NEWS: In Ceremonial First Visit to White House, Obama Receives Bush's Deodorant-stained Bowling Shirt
BREAKING NEWS from OUR NATION'S CAPITAL...
WASHINGTON (7:00 PM EST) -- While First Lady Laura Bush took First Lady-in-waiting Michelle Obama on a tour of the White House Rose Garden Monday, President George W. Bush gave his successor his deodorant-stained bowling shirt as a token of congratulations.
"It's bad luck to wash your bowling shirt," a beaming President Bush told the press gallery Monday evening, "especially when you score more than 400 pins, which I think is the maximum bowling score. Huh huh, I said 'score.'"
Aides told reporters Bush was known to make up his own bowling scores because "he is the decider who decides such decisions."
The shirt, first woven in the textile mills of Paterson, N.J., and later patched up by Mrs. Bush at the Republican Wives' Cooking and Cleaning Expo in Fredericksburg, Va., contains a cursive "Dub-ya" inscription on the shirt's left breast.
White House staff said the president wore the shirt during frequent trips to the White House's private bowling alley. The alley hosts glow-in-the-dark Cosmic Bowling for the public on Friday nights, although the tradition has been suspended to make way for the insertion of a roller skating rink and a repaired hot dog rotisserie, which broke when Karl Rove had to live in the White House for two weeks because his basement flooded out.
The deodorant stains are historic in themselves; they first originated when Bush wore the shirt to intense, high-level negotiations in the Middle East peace process. Experts said the stain's source is likely Speed Stick gel.
"I could smell him from Gaza City," said Palestinian Authority envoy Nasser Yarafat, who attended the negotiations.
President-elect Obama was visibly pleased by Bush's gesture, saying he plans to wear the jersey, made of the finest New Jersey nylon and held together by hand-crafted Malaysian buttonry, on Inauguration Day and will offer each American family two pitchers of Bud Light, an extra-large pepperoni pizza and 500 game tokens in exchange for their public service.
WASHINGTON (7:00 PM EST) -- While First Lady Laura Bush took First Lady-in-waiting Michelle Obama on a tour of the White House Rose Garden Monday, President George W. Bush gave his successor his deodorant-stained bowling shirt as a token of congratulations.
"It's bad luck to wash your bowling shirt," a beaming President Bush told the press gallery Monday evening, "especially when you score more than 400 pins, which I think is the maximum bowling score. Huh huh, I said 'score.'"
Aides told reporters Bush was known to make up his own bowling scores because "he is the decider who decides such decisions."
The shirt, first woven in the textile mills of Paterson, N.J., and later patched up by Mrs. Bush at the Republican Wives' Cooking and Cleaning Expo in Fredericksburg, Va., contains a cursive "Dub-ya" inscription on the shirt's left breast.
White House staff said the president wore the shirt during frequent trips to the White House's private bowling alley. The alley hosts glow-in-the-dark Cosmic Bowling for the public on Friday nights, although the tradition has been suspended to make way for the insertion of a roller skating rink and a repaired hot dog rotisserie, which broke when Karl Rove had to live in the White House for two weeks because his basement flooded out.
The deodorant stains are historic in themselves; they first originated when Bush wore the shirt to intense, high-level negotiations in the Middle East peace process. Experts said the stain's source is likely Speed Stick gel.
"I could smell him from Gaza City," said Palestinian Authority envoy Nasser Yarafat, who attended the negotiations.
President-elect Obama was visibly pleased by Bush's gesture, saying he plans to wear the jersey, made of the finest New Jersey nylon and held together by hand-crafted Malaysian buttonry, on Inauguration Day and will offer each American family two pitchers of Bud Light, an extra-large pepperoni pizza and 500 game tokens in exchange for their public service.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Half-Hour Obama Ad in Primetime to Feature Ron Popeil, Tae Bo
CORAL GABLES, Fla. -- Tonight's 30-minute nationally-televised, prime-time advertisement for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, will also feature Ron Popeil, inventor of the Food Dehydrator, and Tae Bo Master Billy Blanks, who has pledged to do 15 push-ups for every vote Obama receives on Election Day.
Obama spokesman Craig Gregg said the campaign invited Popeil and Blanks to tap into a key but often unreachable, solitary sliver of the American public: those who watch TV during that awkward time of each weekday between 10:30 am and 2 pm. Viewers of "The Price is Right don't count," Gregg said, "because without Bob Barker that show is a joke anyway."
"With this ad, we get people who watch TV in prime-time normally, and people who watch during the day," he said.
Rumors also surfaced early Wednesday that magician David Copperfield would make a surprise appearance, dangling from a basketball arena Jumbotron bound in a straitjacket.
Popeil, known as the chief executive and founder of Ronco, the
world's greatest company, won the 1996 TV Guide/Alfred Nobel Prize for Food Processing Technology. During his acceptance speech at the Richmond, Calif., awards ceremony, Popeil famously declared that the "onion of his life's passion had been successfully peeled, diced and sauteed in 3 easy steps, 10 easy minutes."
He continued, "And now, every child in America can eat a dried flab of apricot instead of Froot Roll Ups, which are high in sugar and low in infomercial goodness."
Blanks, whom many insiders speculate will be offered a spot in a President Obama cabinet as Defense secretary, will present a new workout called Tae-Bobama during the ad tonight.
Once active in politics, Blanks was ostracized by the professional trainers circuit after a long dispute with fellow aerobician and activist Jane Fonda, who herself split with the traditional school of aerobics and developed her own technique.
The Fonda school of aerobics postulates that tight buns and abs of steel are best achieved through the use of Fleetwood Mac music and hot-pink legwarmers, not circular punching motions and stairmasters on a beach patio as Blanks had maintained.
Disgraced, Blanks retreated to Siberia to improve his technique and revive the Russian VHS cassette market. He re-emerged in late 2007, announcing that he "has re-invented himself, is ready to move on, and wishes to accept the fact that the DVD has supplanted VHS as the video medium of choice," though he stopped short of apologizing to Fonda.
Popeil and Blanks said they are committed to Obama's mission, but have grown weary of hitting the road to campaign, saying they will campaign on Obama's behalf "while supplies last."
Obama spokesman Craig Gregg said the campaign invited Popeil and Blanks to tap into a key but often unreachable, solitary sliver of the American public: those who watch TV during that awkward time of each weekday between 10:30 am and 2 pm. Viewers of "The Price is Right don't count," Gregg said, "because without Bob Barker that show is a joke anyway."
"With this ad, we get people who watch TV in prime-time normally, and people who watch during the day," he said.
Rumors also surfaced early Wednesday that magician David Copperfield would make a surprise appearance, dangling from a basketball arena Jumbotron bound in a straitjacket.
Popeil, known as the chief executive and founder of Ronco, the
world's greatest company, won the 1996 TV Guide/Alfred Nobel Prize for Food Processing Technology. During his acceptance speech at the Richmond, Calif., awards ceremony, Popeil famously declared that the "onion of his life's passion had been successfully peeled, diced and sauteed in 3 easy steps, 10 easy minutes."He continued, "And now, every child in America can eat a dried flab of apricot instead of Froot Roll Ups, which are high in sugar and low in infomercial goodness."
Blanks, whom many insiders speculate will be offered a spot in a President Obama cabinet as Defense secretary, will present a new workout called Tae-Bobama during the ad tonight.
Once active in politics, Blanks was ostracized by the professional trainers circuit after a long dispute with fellow aerobician and activist Jane Fonda, who herself split with the traditional school of aerobics and developed her own technique.
The Fonda school of aerobics postulates that tight buns and abs of steel are best achieved through the use of Fleetwood Mac music and hot-pink legwarmers, not circular punching motions and stairmasters on a beach patio as Blanks had maintained.
Disgraced, Blanks retreated to Siberia to improve his technique and revive the Russian VHS cassette market. He re-emerged in late 2007, announcing that he "has re-invented himself, is ready to move on, and wishes to accept the fact that the DVD has supplanted VHS as the video medium of choice," though he stopped short of apologizing to Fonda.
Popeil and Blanks said they are committed to Obama's mission, but have grown weary of hitting the road to campaign, saying they will campaign on Obama's behalf "while supplies last."
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